KLM's "We'll keep you grounded" Programme

If you're travelling by plane often, I'll bet at some point your flight got cancelled. However, have you ever:
  1. Had an un-cancelled flight?
  2. Had a flight cancelled, because of your power of bilocation?
  3. Had a customer service done via Twitter, but it still feels like it was done by fax?
  4. Was asked for a screenshot of a printed boarding pass?
  5. Had a ticket issued so badly by the airline that you have to go to check-in desk, so that the agent could sort it out?
  6. Had a flight where, after 3h delay and subsequent 1.5h in the plane on the ground, they didn't get any catering, because there wasn't enough time?
  7. Was asked to go to see the downtown, presumably just so that the Transfer Desk queue would disperse?
  8. Had all this problems during one trip?
If so, where did you travel via KLM?

Let's start from the beginning. I was supposed to have a simple itinerary: Warsaw to Amsterdam, then non-stop to Seattle. The same, but in reverse, for return. When I checked in I provided my e-mail address and my actual phone number. This was for use e.g. in an event of flight cancellation, get change or delay. Warsaw to Amsterdam was a peaceful and pretty run-of-the-mill kind of flight. I arrived in Amsterdam, I believe even few minutes before the plan. I get off the plane and I see that my flight has been delayed... 11.5 hours. But it still says "proceed to gate D1". 

If you've been in the Schiphol airport and were travelling to the US, you probably now that this gate is actually a immigration pre-check. So I go through with the check and the nice gentleman informs me that my flight is severely delayed and I should go to gate and see if they have any other flights. So I go to the gate. There, a lady from Delta says that we should all go to the transfer desk. Just so you can visualize it, it took me 30 minutes to walk from the airplane to the D1 gate, then to the real gate, then to transfer desk. All while I could just go from the airplane to the transfer desk in a couple of minutes.

Anyhow, it was a good cardio exercise for every passenger. I'm sure the 60-something lady walking alongside me would agree with that. Then a very nice KLM lady tells me that I should hit Amsterdam and be in the airport 2 hours before the delayed time. And she tells that to everyone. Go, see the city, don't stay here! Since I've never been to Amsterdam I went at 10:30 to "see the city". I also had to contact my hotel in Seattle to notify them about the delay.

Amsterdam is a really interesting city. Nice museums and a lot of wonderful architecture. However, after a couple of hours it started raining. Not much, but I didn't have an umbrella with me, so I decided to go to the airport early. And now the fun begins. I go through security with my boarding pass for the delayed flight. I just say that it's from a delayed flight. However, the flight is not on the departures list. So I go to the transfer desk (15 minute walk) and the nice lady over there says that my flight got cancelled in the morning and it was never supposed to leave with this long delay. She was very curious as to where did we get the delayed information from. Apparently a lot of passengers are coming up every few minutes asking for a departure time for a flight to Seattle.

She rebooked my tickets for the next day. Now I was travelling to Detroit first, and from there to Seattle. I had to contact the Seattle hotel again and ask them to change reservation dates. They were so nice that they did it for free! However, I still needed a place to stay in Amsterdam. But fear not! You just have to take another 15 minute walk to the baggage claim area, because the transfer desk cannot book you a hotel, they only have a button that can rebook your ticket.

Walking to the baggage claim I was thinking about the nice 60-something lady and how she managed to walk the whole airport... again. Another KLM lady at the baggage claim arranged a night and meals in the hotel for me. I lost a day in Seattle, but gained a day in Amsterdam. So up until now it has been a pretty normal story, with just little quirks. Like the fact that I had to go to immigration  pre-check again the next day.

In Detroit I had little precious time for transfer. So I went to the transfer desk to get my boarding pass, because the agent in Amsterdam was unable to print one, for whatever reason. So she prints a boarding pass, strikes out some information and scribbles something in the middle of it. I run to a gate and my boarding pass does not work. She tries it again and gets a red light again. So I say that I'm from a cancelled flight and they let me in. Just like that. Wow, that was... weird and unexpected. Anyhow, I'm on the flight.

But the actual Monty Python-level absurdities began when I wanted to check-in for my return flight. I logged in and wanted to see when can I make my online check-in. Instead I saw a red box with "Important information" that my Amsterdam to Warsaw got cancelled. And it advised me to contact the customer support. Since their support was an international number, and I didn't feel like leaving my kidney in the US to cover the roaming fees, I decided to go and take alternate route. I saw that they do a customer support over Twitter. Yes, really. And the answer time is about 20 minutes! Well, that's somewhat fast considering the volume of people that they have to talk to.

What I didn't expect was that 20 minutes does not apply to Direct Messages. There you have to multiply that time by two. You know, because other people cannot check the reply times on your DM. That's why I had to do a part of it publicly and, unfortunately, you had to witness it. But, what is even more surprising, is that they reply in 40-50 minutes EVERY SINGLE TIME. So it looks like this (not an actual conversation):
Hello, I have a problem with my flight
(40 minutes later) Hello! What's your problem? 
My flight got cancelled for no apparent reason. 
(50 minutes later) Hello! Can you provide us with a booking reference? 
 It's ABCD123.
(45 minutes later) Hello! We'll look into this.
(5 hours later) Hello! Thank you for your patience. The problem is solved.
As you can imagine this is really frustrating. Especially if your flight got cancelled for no apparent reason and you don't know what to do. I also logged in to my Flying Blue account (frequent flyer program for Skyteam). I wasn't expecting what I saw there: they thought I missed my flight to Seattle. You know, that I'm still in Detroit.

So I contact them via DM on Twitter and tell them about the Flying Blue and cancellation. They ask me to elaborate, because, and get this, they think that they cancelled my Amsterdam to Warsaw, because I missed my flight from Detroit to Seattle. Read it again. Just to let it sink in.

After 5 hours since my explanation (during which KLM website went from 22 minutes to we answer every question in 18 minutes), they were able to reissue my ticket. They didn't provide any reason for cancellation, nothing. Just said "you can now check-in online".

Which I couldn't. Because the check-in system told me "You cannot check-in for that flight online, use an automated kiosk at the airport". And I still hadn't had any Flying Blue miles for my Detroit to Seattle flight. So I write to them again and they tell me to send a screenshot of a a boarding pass that their agent printed for me at the transfer desk in Detroit. I think the customer support representative never wanted to work in the customer support. Instead, they wanted to be a lumberjack...

Next day, I go to Seattle airport and try to check-in using kiosk. It says "Go and see an agent". So I go to the agent, which tries to check me in using the same kiosk. It shows the same message. I'm instructed to go to the "Special services" desk. The very nice lady from Delta tells me that my reservation is odd and she'll try to sort it out. Couple of minutes goes by and I have both my boarding passes in my hand and I'm ready to fly home. I thought this will be the end of it. Nope.

I arrive in Amsterdam and there's a pouring rain. Weather is just horrible. So, of course, my flight got delayed. 1 hour passes by. It got delayed again. Second hour passes by. And it got delayed again. After 3 hours they say they'll start boarding in a couple of minutes. However, they are also unloading our bags. We can see it from the window. To my amazement, they really did start boarding after few minutes.

When the boarding was complete, our pilot informed us that we are waiting for our bags to be loaded. Yep, the same bags that were unloaded just before boarding and were sitting just besides our plane. However, the crew was nice enough and offered us a cookie. I didn't know that this is all that they will offer. After spending just 1.5 hours in the plane on the ground waiting for our bags to be loaded again, we were finally departing. Mind you, 1.5 hour is also the time of the flight.

In the air, crew informed us that they will be no food served today. Not even for purchase. I guess they didn't have time to load it on board. If I knew it, I would take my cookie. When we finally landed in Warsaw (and besides, KLM, in English it's "Warsaw" not "Warschau" at least since 1945) I was just hoping that they didn't lost my luggage. After all, that's all that was left for them to screw up...

TL;DR: if you want to fly with KLM, consider Ryanair instead. Same quality, but cheaper!

By the way, did you notice that they didn't use my phone number or e-mail for notifications even once during that whole ordeal?

Epilogue

I didn't get any miles for my Seattle to Amsterdam flight, because, again, they think I missed it. However, according to them, I didn't miss the flight from Amsterdam to Warsaw that followed it. I sent them the boarding pass. They replied after 9 hours. They asked for my full name. As is printed on the boarding pass...

KLM also thanked me for telling them not to use standard reply templates.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Having fun with AndroidManifest.xml

Android malware based on SMS encryption and with KitKat support

Android malware goes Mono (.NET) and Lua!